|
|
Post by primemaneesh on May 16, 2014 4:30:21 GMT
This story is turning out to be pretty awesome.
|
|
NightingVale
Member
what is i without me and what is you without you?
Posts: 32 
|
Post by NightingVale on May 17, 2014 4:27:19 GMT
This story is turning out to be pretty awesome. thank you ^^ i hope more people come by and take a look at the thread i'm all for suggestions! even though i've already mostly plotted out the story, i'm welcome for you guys to give me some tips/help on writing better, or some plot points i could use either way, y'all been awesome and thanks for reading! |
|
NightingVale
Member
what is i without me and what is you without you?
Posts: 32
|
Post by NightingVale on May 20, 2014 3:01:51 GMT
Hey guys! Sorry for the double post but I AM FINALLY DONE. Due to school shenanigans I wasn't able to make this as long as I wanted and I had to rush it a bit, but don't worry! This is just a prologue and the real story will be much longer. I'm too tired to paste the text and word doc as I have been typing on a google doc for a while, but if you really need the text / word doc version, I'll post it. So here: docs.google.com/document/d/1kLfyVfGtyrsEWoLBokUKbWKHT7Yf5Zoi84n76RmP0hY/edit?usp=sharingI hope you enjoy it! |
|
|
|
Post by Sic Transit Gloria on May 21, 2014 3:22:23 GMT
I'm..I'm really not sure what to make of this. It's interesting and surreal. But it's also rather abrupt and not like my taste.
It is good quality, but I'm afraid I can't say I enjoy it. Don't take this personally, please. My likes and dislikes get in the way.
The only major grammar error I could find was that when the character had a thought you used "You" instead of "I". "You" in those cases, indicated second person view, while the story is written in first.
|
|
NightingVale
Member
what is i without me and what is you without you?
Posts: 32
|
Post by NightingVale on May 25, 2014 0:08:41 GMT
Yeah, I know. That's the old and pre-edited version. But yeah, sorry about the abrupt-ness. I had to rush it and stuff. I've decided to make it into a crap prologue and maybe make a longer and much better version in the future.
|
|
